i don't even know how to explain today. it started with my sister telling me i got a 1 on the apcalc exam cause luu told her, which i saw coming, but not the words after that. i had to get away so i went to stephen's house for a kickback with an unsettling feeling. and then i came home to have even more hurtful words fired at me because i didn't "even get a 2 cause you get a 1 for writing your name." well, too bad i couldn't continue the legend of getting a 4 or 5 on ap exams since both of you did. sorry for not being smart in math. sorry for not continuing that legend of passing all the aps. sorry for "disappointing" you. sorry for not being fucken asain. you didn't think i tried hard? fuck, you try getting a B/A for V. you don't think i feel bad for getting a 1? why do you even have to make it worse? ... i act like it doesn't bother me. what else can you do? cry? well that's what i fucken did in front of you. for 17 years, i don't remember a day where i cried in front of you because of emotional hurt. i told you i wasn't going to pass, not because i didn't believe in myself, but because I KNOW. so yeaa, fuck you.

all i wanted was someone to talk to when i'm troubled or needed some weight lifted off; that's where you come in you know? too bad it didn't go that way.

SO FUCK YOU ALL.