"I resisted, all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which greatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed to entertain of me.

oh the beauty of books written in the 19th century. <3

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

3:00am

late night fray time

<3

my dad's ideal family is doing things together, sharing, being nice.. and what not. somehow i can't imagine being all that to her. she's everything i strive not to be.. personality wise.. and well, maybe everything else. you may not understand how this came to be, but there's a history that you'll never know. & all you'll know is what i let you know.. o0o0o that sounded so smart. lol

i've fallen

....shit

i hate being at home. everyone hates each other and give each other attitude. i feel like this is never gna changee.. sighhh

i don't even know how to explain today. it started with my sister telling me i got a 1 on the apcalc exam cause luu told her, which i saw coming, but not the words after that. i had to get away so i went to stephen's house for a kickback with an unsettling feeling. and then i came home to have even more hurtful words fired at me because i didn't "even get a 2 cause you get a 1 for writing your name." well, too bad i couldn't continue the legend of getting a 4 or 5 on ap exams since both of you did. sorry for not being smart in math. sorry for not continuing that legend of passing all the aps. sorry for "disappointing" you. sorry for not being fucken asain. you didn't think i tried hard? fuck, you try getting a B/A for V. you don't think i feel bad for getting a 1? why do you even have to make it worse? ... i act like it doesn't bother me. what else can you do? cry? well that's what i fucken did in front of you. for 17 years, i don't remember a day where i cried in front of you because of emotional hurt. i told you i wasn't going to pass, not because i didn't believe in myself, but because I KNOW. so yeaa, fuck you.

all i wanted was someone to talk to when i'm troubled or needed some weight lifted off; that's where you come in you know? too bad it didn't go that way.

SO FUCK YOU ALL.