although you're basically the closest person to me in my life right now, i feel that i just can't have deep conversations with you. i don't know why.. maybe because i feel that you won't understand? or maybe we just don't talk about those things. i don't like that missing piece of the puzzle. but i'm gladd jessi is someone i can talk to about anything and everything because i think she does understand to a level that you can't.

:/

i've started on my personal statement. i have less than 500 words. and i feel like i'm done. this is nottt goood.

"how do you know if a test is legit? what test do you think isn't legit?"

Kdang: SAT.

ahahahah that made my day. so i'm just another average kid out of the 7 billions of people. lol i knew i wasn't special anyways :( maybe just to my mom.

my mom is the only person that can make my heart stopped...in a scary way. ever since that time in elementary school, i get so paranoid when i find out she's physically hurt. i can't describe that feeling you get when you think you're gna lose someone.. in an instant. like i didn't think of it when i was little, of course... but now i don't know. lol

today, that feeling when i knew she was okay after hearing her scream ...wow.

one of the reasons why i dislike talking to my dad is because all he wants to talk about is money, money, and money. -_____-

i've spent the last hour reading my past post all the way to '08. hahaha :)

so i guess my life's gotten much less stressful since my SAT is over for now and we're finally on our own for senior seminar. but i dunno, senior year isn't as fun as i woulda supposed it would. i think i'm just letting some things hold me back.

.....lol.

i'm so tired

so tired of my parents not being supportive in me. my mom yelled at me for leaving the house so early in the morning.. but she doesn't even know where i went. me and my sister both know that it doesn't matter if i "tried my best" on the SAT. it's either you know it or you don't and if you don't, you're stupid. that's why neither of us told my parents anything. & all i did was accept it.

i miss those conversations where we'd actually talked about meaningful things... not just the usual "whatchu doing"questions. we don't even ask each other about how your day was.